What Are Emotional Flashbacks? Triggers And How To Cope

It might have happened to you that you were in a normal situation when suddenly you started feeling fearful, angry, ashamed, or even helpless. 

The trigger could be anything from a person talking to you in a high tone to a loved one asking for some time away from you. 

These are all small, non-consequential, and almost everyday things, but your feelings seemed much bigger. So much so that you went on and locked yourself in a room, overthought, and even cried. 

Sounds relatable?

If yes, you have likely experienced emotional flashbacks. 

And no, this is not the sort of flashbacks you see in movies and shows. That’s because during an emotional flashback you don’t have a clear memory of what past incident is triggering your emotions. 

Now, if you are curious about what causes these flashbacks, and more importantly how you can cope with them, I have explained it all in detail in this blog.

So, let’s have a look in detail. 

Key takeaways

• During an emotional flashback you suddenly experience strong emotions connected with past trauma.
• You can have an emotional flashback without a clear memory of a past traumatic incident.
• The triggers of flashback can be both obvious and subtle. But one is triggered mostly when they feel rejected, unsafe, powerless, or out of control.
• Grounding techniques can help you respond thoughtfully rather than reacting automatically.
• Talk to a therapist if flashbacks are affecting your relationships, work, or daily life.

What are emotional flashbacks?

Emotional flashbacks are when you suddenly go back to an emotional state that is related to a trauma or distressful experience that happened in the past. 

For instance, you might quickly feel ashamed when someone corrects you publicly or get a sense of abandonment when your partner, friend, or family member asks for some space. 

The problem with these flashbacks is that you aren’t able to immediately connect the dots and pinpoint what past incident is causing them. 

That’s because unlike the name, you aren’t really seeing any flashbacks from the past. Also, there need not be any present-day anxious attachment trauma. You are just experiencing the feelings attached to some past incidents in an otherwise completely normal scenario. 

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What does an emotional flashback feel like?

Since an emotional flashback is a lived experience, it differs for different people. But generally, it is a sudden feeling of fear, anger, shame, and helplessness in a rather normal situation. 

For instance, a lot of people suddenly become angry, start defending themselves, and seem irritated. They even get this urge to push the other person away with whom they are angry. 

Similarly, people with emotional flashback symptoms also feel powerless and want to run from the situation and lock themselves up until someone reassures them. 

There are also physical signs that follow such as an increased heartbeat, tight chest, and tense muscles. Also, one might shake or sweat a lot, become numb or disconnected, or show signs of dissociation. 

Therapist’s tip

If you identify yourself in any of the above, don’t judge yourself or feel bad. I know it’s hard not to, but take my advice and think curiously instead about what happened before you reached a certain way.  

For instance, did someone say something that made you react or was it their tone and expression. Also, what were you fearing when you reacted. 

Finding answers to these questions can be difficult, but once you do, you can pinpoint what is triggering emotional flashback. 

What can trigger an emotional flashback?

An emotional flashback can be triggered by anything that reminds you of a past experience. However, the trigger might not look like the original trauma. Also, there’s a good chance you don’t know what is triggering the flashback yet. 

Here are some emotional flashback triggers you should know about: 

1. Being criticized or corrected.
2. Someone raising their voice at you.
3. Feeling of rejection. 
4. A conflict with a partner, friend, or family member. 
5. Your partner feels disconnected from you.
6. You make a mistake and feel you have failed.
7. You feel powerless or excluded.
8. You feel someone is disappointed in you.

Psychology fact 101: Even a smell, sound, place, temperature, or weather can trigger a flashback. That’s interesting, isn’t it?

How to cope with an emotional flashback?

Now that you know what an emotional flashback is, you might be curious how to stop flashbacks​. 

Well, from a psychologist’s point of view, stopping an emotional flashback involves some simple steps followed thoughtfully. 

But I know that it is easier said than done. More so you are already in the middle of an emotional flashback. 

So firstly, don’t try to figure out everything such as what happened, what triggered you etc. Just focus on reconnecting with the present moment.

And then, once you are calm and at ease, do the following five things: 

#1. Realize that you are having a flashback

The first step in coping with somatic flashbacks​ is to realize that you are having a flashback in the first place. 

You need not know what triggered it yet. Just try to tell yourself that something brought up a very strong reaction. 

Then, take a pause and separate how you are feeling and what your reaction is going to be like. For instance, if you feel triggered and want to send an angry message or end your friendship, don’t do it yet. Give yourself some time to breathe and think. 

#2. Bring yourself back to the present moment

During an emotional flashback, your mind is too preoccupied with coping with the sense of shame, helplessness, danger, or anger. So much so that you don’t even think about your own self or being.

This is why it is important you remind yourself of who you are. Try to ground yourself by looking around, noticing things that you see, feeling your feet on the floor, etc. 

Also, you can remind yourself of the date, your age, and the fact that you are in the present.

I know these are small things that don’t seem to bring a huge impact in regular times. But when you are triggered, these small activities help a great deal bring you to the present. 

#3. Don’t treat what you are feeling as proof or fact

When you are dealing with emotional flashbacks, it can seem like your reactions are completely valid and what you are feeling are true facts. 

For instance, if you are feeling abandoned, you can be quite convinced that your partner, friend, or family is rejecting you. 

Similarly, you can take a feeling of shame as a fact that it is you who did something terribly wrong. 

But these are most likely not the full story. So before you react, give yourself some time. 

Of course, you don’t want to dismiss a genuine threat, insults, or sense of harm. All you want to do is separate the present situation from the emotional response happening due to past trauma.

#4. Give yourself time before making a big decision

The urge to do something and to it immediately is big when you feel overwhelmed. For instance, the urge to apologize when you are feeling shameful or to end a relationship when you feel abandoned. 

But don’t react immediately. Wait and give yourself some time to settle before making a big decision

In my own therapy sessions, I advise my clients to separate regulating the reaction from solving the problem.

You can always come back to the problem once you feel more grounded. You can then decide if you want to have a  conversation, set a boundary, or make a change.

#5. Be compassionate with yourself later on

Once the emotional flashback is over, there is a good chance you can start criticizing yourself for how you reacted.

But self-criticism will not help you understand the trigger and the larger pattern. So I suggest you instead treat yourself with self compassion and become curious about what might have happened before the reaction. 

You might not find the answer right away, and that’s alright. You will slowly start understanding your own patterns. And the less you judge yourself for them, the more easily you can recognize the triggers early the next time it happens. 

Can therapy help stop emotional flashbacks?

Yes, it can, especially if you are getting emotional flashbacks very often and it is already affecting your day-to-day life, work, relationship with partner, friends, or family members. 

A therapist can help you pinpoint what triggers these flashbacks. Also, you will learn coping mechanisms that will help you regulate yourself wherever you feel overwhelmed. 

Note: Don’t expect an overnight improvement when you start therapy. In my own work with clients who deal with emotional flashbacks, I have noticed that the changes are gradual and people develop self regulation over time.

FAQs about emotional flashbacks

What are emotional flashbacks?

Emotional flashbacks are sudden, intense emotional reactions that are connected with past trauma or distressing experiences. 

Unlike a typical visual flashback, you don’t see a clear memory of what happened. You instead suddenly feel intense fear, shame, helplessness, or abandonment. 

Are emotional flashbacks real?

Yes, the experience can be very real and distressing. 

However, emotional flashback is not a standalone diagnosis. It is a term used in trauma therapy to describe certain experiences of emotional re-experiencing. 

What are common emotional flashback triggers?

Triggers can include criticism, rejection, conflict, raised voices, feeling ignored, someone becoming distant, making a mistake, or feeling powerless. 

Note: A trigger does not always resemble the original traumatic experience.

How long can emotional flashbacks last?

There is no specified amount of time for which an emotional flashback is expected to last. Some reactions pass quickly while others linger for longer. 

Can emotional flashbacks cause panic attacks?

They can overlap. 

An emotional flashback sometimes involves intense fear and physical symptoms that feel similar to panic attack. Also, people can experience a full fledged panic attack during or after a reaction caused by emotional flashback.

Let’s Talk Through Things Together!

As a licensed Denver therapist, I help you process stress, anxiety, and past trauma in a safe, grounded space.

Schedule A Free 15-Minute Consultation

Final words

As you can see, emotional flashbacks can make even everyday situations feel overwhelming, fearful, and painful. More so because you know it is a normal scenario and you are not able to point out what is causing the reaction. 

But then, it is possible to cope with and even stop flashbacks altogether. You need not do it all right away, just start grounding yourself first, slow down a little, and give yourself time to understand the trigger. 

Most importantly, if somatic flashbacks are affecting your daily life, work, relationships, and wellbeing, I suggest you see a therapist. 

Got more questions or looking for emotional flashback therapy​ in Denver, CO? 

You can get in touch with me!

At 12:2 Counseling, I offer trauma-informed therapy, including EMDR therapy, for people who are facing problems related to past trauma.

I offer a free 15-minute consultation where we can talk about what you are experiencing. And if you choose to sign up for therapy with me, I offer in-person therapy at my Highlands Ranch office and online therapy throughout Colorado.